Some helpful step-by-step instructions for filing your taxes
It’s about that time of year again, and filing your taxes can be a difficult experience. I thought I would share my methods in an easy to follow step-by-step tutorial in case any other responsible adults around here need a little help.
Step 1: Take your taxes seriously. Gather all the necessary forms and information, and then dress like you’re an action movie hero, because shit’s about to get real. (Ripped jeans and a stained shirt work well for this, especially if the shirt shows off your guns. Protective eyewear is necessary – sunglasses are best, but glasses will do in a pinch.)
Step 2: Get yourself a Dr. Pepper or other brand name soda of your choice.Product placement.
Step 3: Start an account with one of those online services that e-files your tax returns and does math for you. Action heroes don’t do math or go to the post office! They’re too busy walking casually away from explosions!
Step 4: When you make a mistake, pull off your sunglasses really slowly, drop your voice, and say, “My god…what have I done?”
Step 5: If doing your taxes gets so frustrating you can’t stand it, lie on the ground and fire your finger-gun in the air while yelling “AAAA.”
Step 6: Defeat your taxes – preferably in some sort of dramatic face-off.
Step 7: Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker. Eat some pizza – you just saved the world! (And by “the world” I mean “yourself from an audit by the IRS.”)