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Some helpful step-by-step instructions for filing your taxes

by Theo on February 10th, 2012

It’s about that time of year again, and filing your taxes can be a difficult experience. I thought I would share my methods in an easy to follow step-by-step tutorial in case any other responsible adults around here need a little help.

Step 1: Take your taxes seriously. Gather all the necessary forms and information, and then dress like you’re an action movie hero, because shit’s about to get real. (Ripped jeans and a stained shirt work well for this, especially if the shirt shows off your guns. Protective eyewear is necessary – sunglasses are best, but glasses will do in a pinch.)

Step 2: Get yourself a Dr. Pepper or other brand name soda of your choice.Product placement.

Step 3: Start an account with one of those online services that e-files your tax returns and does math for you. Action heroes don’t do math or go to the post office! They’re too busy walking casually away from explosions!

Step 4: When you make a mistake, pull off your sunglasses really slowly, drop your voice, and say, “My god…what have I done?”

Step 5: If doing your taxes gets so frustrating you can’t stand it, lie on the ground and fire your finger-gun in the air while yelling “AAAA.”

Step 6: Defeat your taxes – preferably in some sort of dramatic face-off.

Step 7: Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker. Eat some pizza – you just saved the world! (And by “the world” I mean “yourself from an audit by the IRS.”)

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From → Inanity, Not-Projects

One Comment
  1. 'Lista permalink

    Perfect timing! I was just thinking about tackling this job. I’m off to find something that shows off my guns!

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