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Texts from CONvergence

by Theo on July 5th, 2011
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Presented with minimal editing, a text conversation had with my friend Lisa on Friday night of con.

Lisa
What up? Any shenanigans I should know about?

Me
Lightning watching party in the 22nd floor women’s room.

Me
We are drinking and considering holding a panel about bears now.

Lisa
We’re piloting an airship with Jesus as our co-pilot.

Me
We’re talking about bear feminism and we just saw a cloud that looks like a dragon.

Me
Can you think of any strong female bears in media other than the Berenstain or Coca-Cola bears?

Lisa
We were told to check the Klingon room.

Me
For bears?

Lisa
Where else are the women hairy, angry, and willing to tear your throat out for fun?

Me
I want to see Klingons catching salmon in their mouths.

Lisa
That is a challenge. We have some Swedish Fish. I bet if we threw some at them they would try to catch them that way.

Me
If you do, film it and bring your phone to the 22nd floor to play at our panel. (PS This is why we’re friends.)

Lisa
We will see if Klingons are space bears.

Lisa
Steampunk mounties agree: Klingons are space bears.

On Saturday, she told me the experiment was inconclusive because, while most groups she spoke to agreed that Klingons are space bears, when she threw a Swedish Fish at a Klingon, he failed to catch it in his mouth.

We talked it over and concluded that maybe that particular Klingon was just not a very good bear. Which is understandable. I mean, he probably didn’t have strong female bear role models growing up.

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4 Comments
  1. Gypsy-Maria permalink

    <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 FOREVER for this.

    • Nicole permalink

      We’re planning another girls-only panel in the 22nd floor women’s room next year. Bears were a surprising downer due to the disappointing amount of strong female bears in media, so proposed subject for next year is pigs. I’m assuming you’ll be in attendance to help us sort through this important subject.

  2. 'Lista permalink

    AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I’m laughing so hard right now that my kids are staring in confusion! I’m going to start carrying Swedish fish in my purse in case I meet any Klingons!

    • Nicole permalink

      It’s a good idea to carry Swedish Fish regardless of the likelihood of Klingon appearances. They’re just delicious!

      (…Swedish Fish are, I mean. Not Klingons.)

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